Tag Archives: To die in a beautiful place

Nature’s Treadmill

We get outside for health.
We get outside for confidence – to pit ourselves against nature for a moment, test our skills, return victorious.
We get outside for a change of pace and a change of scenery – literally.
We get outside to escape the office treadmill, to defy the hamster wheel, the monotonous, repetitive activity in which no progress is achieved – the treadmill of people we cannot fix and things we can’t control.

I think the expression, “I wanted to die,” comes from the following sources: embarrassment, rejection, failure, things of the heart and emotion, societal expectations. And those are the precise feelings I am seeking to heal when I venture, nay, when I go boldly, out into Nature.

I have said that I want to die in a beautiful place. I have also said that day is not today. And it is not. In Nature, the old will to live still kicks in. My reflex is to fight for my life. I don’t want to numb that instinctive will. When the day comes that I die in a beautiful place – I hope it will be decisive – a sudden occurrence. No choice of whether to give up or fight. But until that day, I will struggle. There is no, “lay me down and will myself to die.” While I still live, I will fight for my life.

I go out into Nature for the healing, but sometimes what I get is the scalpel. Other times the treadmill. Yesterday a friend and I floated the Colorado River from Fairy Swale (it is actually Ferry Swale, but Fairy has more scope for the imagination) to Lee’s Ferry. The word floated is misleading. True, sometimes we floated. True it was downstream. Words like halcyon, bucolic, tranquil, serene, placid – even chillaxing came to mind. But there is also wind on the river, wind that blows upstream. Wind that makes white caps of the water. Wind that grabs the nose of your kayak and turns you 180 degrees and makes you feel helpless. Wind that once again puts you on a treadmill of life you find yourself expending herculean energy but going nowhere.

The wind is regularly expected for the last mile of the route from Ferry Swale to Lee’s Ferry. Yesterday it happened three times in the last three miles of the journey. It was a three condor, three osprey, three heron, 99-duck, three extended wind-gusts with white caps and reversals up-river sort of day. And yes, the random half miles of calm beautiful floats were very worth it!

I go out into Nature for the healing, but sometimes what I get is the scalpel. Other times the treadmill. But that doesn’t stop me from returning, over and over again for the healing – the healing that comes after the scalpel has done its work.

IMG_3801Lindasillouettekayakriverreflection

A long and winding road that leads – to beauty.

It was a long and winding road that lead to – who knows where? She had never been there before. But she had just passed through the Kaibab – 41 miles of rolling, forested hills – mountains kneeling, mountains lying down and covered with ponderosa, aspen and mountain meadows. She saw the sign that directed to Point Imperial and Cape Royale. She didn’t need a picture to paint 1,000 words. Those four words were irresistible and she turned left. According to the pocket map provided her by the Park Service Ranger, one has to get a permit to have a wedding at Cape Royale. A wedding? Then it must be beautiful.

Beauty restores. Beauty heals. Beauty comes in many different forms. She needed restoration, healing, beauty, self-care. That morning, she stopped to see friends and acquaintances; a kind word here, an act of service there. But she was empty and it soon became apparent she needed to refill her own tank if she was to serve others. So she sniffed out some nutritional fuel.

The meal was excellent. She tucked a portion away – to go – and planned to polish it off in a beautiful place as dinner. Thirty-seven miles later she stopped at Jacob Lake and then proceeded through Kaibab National Forest and the Grand Canyon North Rim entrance gate. It was then she saw the sign: Cape Royale Road. The road forks after five miles. To the left another three miles is Point Imperial. She tried that first as an appetizer. 8, 800 feet – the highest overlook on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. Her optimum altitude. Ponderosa pines. Beauty in every direction. Painted Desert to the east. Far below, views of Marble Canyon, and the eastern portion of the Grand Canyon. Returning to the fork, she headed up the right hand branch. Fifteen miles – a long and winding road – not suitable for trailers or long vehicles – plenty of time for a bride to consider her destination. She drove as far as a car can go and parked. On her own two feet she entered the avenue, a paved trail lined with piñon pine and tall, thriving, cliff rose. Until that day, she had never wanted to be a June Bride. June seems so conforming and usual somehow. But oh, if one is going to be a bride at Cape Royale, June is the month to be that bride. Every cliff rose was in bloom. As she walked, she noticed a wall of rock jutting into the canyon on the left. In that wall, nature had chiseled a window, Angel’s Window.

And through that window, in the distance, she could see the Colorado River. Her River. It was a breath-taking discovery.

It was not a difficult hike, nor a difficult drive, but it was a long, long and winding road; and it led to beauty. Her soul was satisfied for another hour, another day, another week. She would survive.

Presentation is part of the nourishment
Presentation is part of the nourishment

IMG_3268AvenueatCapeRoyale

IMG_3261AngelsWindow

Hiking is good for what ails you

Take a hike, it’s good for what ails you. Especially if what ails you is stress, depression, anxiety, tension, panic, frustration.

Take a hike. Walk until you see something that makes you smile. Something pristine and natural like a mallard duck lifting off from a lake. Something wild like a fox never deviating off course – ignoring your presence. Something comforting like a fawn in the forest or quail noisily gathering their chicks, or a lizard zipping away from your shadow.

Keep hiking until it becomes clear exactly what it is that is eating you or whom you blame for your issue. Work it out with each step. Talk it out aloud to the wilderness. Keep going. Keep putting one foot in front of the other until your brain has stopped complaining and started feeling grateful. Press forward until you reach that crucial moment when you throw your hands in the air and shout “Thank You!” Then, and only then is it time to head back to your point of origin. You are now healed – at least for another hour, another day. Taken daily, this remedy will go miles toward keeping you balanced and healthy. Healthy in mind and soul as well as body. There is hope. Hope that you will be cured of your anxiety.

This remedy may also be found packaged under any of the following labels: bicycling, running, swimming, kayaking. Parent company: Exercise in the great outdoors.

One word of caution: hiking is addictive. You may find it necessary to walk further and further into the wilderness to effect a change in your emotional and mental well-being. But, dear friends, can you think of a better remedy with fewer negative side effects?

Hear me now, there are times when you feel like you are going to die. Your chest constricts. It is hard to breathe from the stress. The tension is mounting in your shoulders and around the base of your neck. Or perhaps embarrassment has joined with anxiety so that you feel as if you want to die. When you feel like you want to die – or when you feel that you are going to die; you must, you must get out of doors and take the cure immediately. Why? Because your last goal, the last thing on your bucket list is to die in a beautiful place. Remove yourself to a beautiful place immediately to position yourself to achieve that goal. Who knows? You may recover instantly. It has happened to me time and time before.

Ideas other have suggested as remedies for panic attack caused by anxiety or depression: Now I ask you, cannot all these be accomplished via a good hike?

IMG_3149solitary

IMG_3123

IMG_2877cherrycathedralslot

IMG-2825cherryouraymountains

Nature Brings Me Flowers

You don’t bring me flowers;

You don’t sing me love songs; . . .

You don’t bring me flowers anymore. (Diamond/Bergman)

Wild flower season at Cedar Breaks National Monument
Wild flower season at Cedar Breaks National Monument

I love to get outside in Nature. I don’t know if there is anything I love better than a long hike in a beautiful place. Let me name a few: Crag Crest, O Be Joyful, Bear Creek, Hanging Lake, Angel’s Landing; the list is long.

On the day these photos were taken, it was Ramparts Overlook in Cedar Breaks. I love Nature because Nature loves me back. Nature is harsh, you will say. Nature is cruel. In fact, Nature can kill you. I will not deny it. But, think about it for a moment, Love – or rather what you did for love or what you would do for love- is sometimes harsh and Love is sometimes cruel, but Love is the solid bedrock of everything we hold dear as a society – and my love affair with Nature is a foundation that keeps me healthy physically as well as emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Let me ask you, would you rather die outside in a beautiful place by the hand of Nature or in a heap of twisted metal in the city? What are the odds? I’ll stack the odds in favor of Nature. I’ll keep getting out there. Nature, rather than commerce and metro traffic, shall decide when it is my time to go.

Would you rather be in a sterile gray hospital room when they pull the plug and you breathe your last, or would you rather be struck by lightning on a green, rocky, stairway to heaven? I’ll choose lightning.

I was made from dust and to dust I shall return. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I’ll trust Nature. Nature loves me back. Nature brings me flowers.

IMG_1514treeandcanyon

IMG_1497flowerslite

There is a marmot in the tree
There is a marmot in the tree