Deliberate Fun

Does that sound like an oxymoron? Kind of like enforced holiday?

Let me ask another question. Are you an inspired and spontaneous creative? Or are you a plodder? Or, maybe like me, a balanced combination of both – until you lose that ever so finely tuned balance. Some unexpected event drains you dry, saps your adrenaline, spins you off the wagon and back into workaholism. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, you consistently work late to get things done, but you are no longer finding joy in it

I have a boss who encourages, “Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.” He is far from laissez faire when he says this. What he is doing is giving each of us on the administrative team responsibility for our own health; our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.

Sometimes working late IS self-care. I may need to complete a project so it doesn’t keep me awake at night. Perhaps I need to stay and make extra preparation ahead so that I don’t go into a special event rattled at the onset.

Other times, I have to insist of myself that I go home on time; that I recreate, that I pursue a change of pace. It was one of those weekends.

My regular five workdays included a 12-hour delivery day calling on far-flung stores. The previous week encompassed six days on and only Sunday off. I was beginning to feel the weariness. The joy and energy were wearing thin. So, like it or not; projects waiting or not, it was high time for a change of pace.

When I insist on deliberate fun, I am often reminded of a scene in “The Grapes of Wrath” and the uncle who took his drunk deliberately – like a medicine – without any enjoyment – just because it had to be done.

The thing is, deliberate doesn’t feel like fun at first. I didn’t feel like packing the car for an overnight trip. I didn’t feel like making a two-hour drive. I was fearful of getting out of signal range. What if someone called? What if I got an important email? What if someone needed me? What if the world came to an end and I wasn’t there to, to, to, to what?

I packed the car. I drove. I found a campsite. I walked in the forest. I cooked on my pocket stove. I hiked to the top of a mountain.

And then, wonder of wonders, deliberate fun turned into relaxation, peace, a new mindset, a fresh perspective.