Forgetting Awesome, Extinguishing Desire

I work in a location of incredible natural beauty. People spend their vacations and their money to come here, yet I am here five days a week courtesy of my job.  Amazingly, the beauty is so magnetic, I often head to my place of work on my days off just to hike and enjoy and know it better.   The words; breathtaking, inspiring, centering and clarifying come to mind.

But sometimes I forget.   Not a senior moment type of forgetfulness; rather, a crowded out by cares and worries kind of forgetfulness. If I work long hours – say dawn to dusk – and then rush to visit extended family, or shop for groceries, there is no time to hike.  If I have been on my feet all day and my body is screaming for dinner; chances are I will sink fatigued into the car seat and hurry to my next appointment – perhaps at a laundromat – with nary a glance at the grandeur.  After a few days, I feel vaguely dissatisfied. I forget the awesome. My desire is extinguished.  Just like that, the beauty that once drove me mad with desire; delirious with abundance of joy is snuffed out.  The honeymoon is over.

I worked the early shift today. The great outdoors was so alluring when I exited the office, I could not resist the urge to pull on my walking shoes. It was too chilly to change to the cropped off athletic gear I always tote perchance of adventure, so I added layers to my work clothes and took off down the trail. The cold was invigorating. Half a mile later I was gobsmacked by the beauty.

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To think, fatigued, hungry and driven, I almost hurried to my car and on to the next item on my list.

As I walked I mused how all of life is like that.  In the crush of the mundane, I allow myself to slowly reel in the desire.  I pack it on ice.

In other words, after a few days of inattention to the beloved; after the interruption of a 40-hour workweek; perhaps mounting tension on the job or with the budget, the motivation goes away.  Through lack of use, desire is extinguished. The thing that used to be my emotional life-blood becomes ho hum, why should I exert myself?

And that is why in every avenue of endeavor we need to be constantly reminded;

Every day, tell her (him) you love her (him)

Keep the romance alive

Write a little every day if you are a writer

Are you a musician? Sit down and love that instrument every day.

Does beauty and the great outdoors nourish you? For heaven’s sake, don’t neglect yourself.

Quit being a martyr for expectations and the mundane. Feed the need. Nourish your desire.  Only then will you be wholehearted enough to actually give your best on the job.

 

 

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