Category Archives: Metaphor

The Perfect Puzzle Piece

I had a difficult time getting to sleep the other night. It was not tossing and turning due to guilt or unfinished business, or even a cup of coffee, that kept me wakeful. It was peace and joy and anticipation.
Like the child who simply cannot fall asleep Christmas Eve for the anticipation of Christmas morning; I lay awake contemplating and luxuriating.  It had been a usual and satisfying evening.  An hour at the piano, micro-zapped leftovers for dinner, a bit of writing, tying up some cyber loose ends from work.
About the time I settled in, sighed and pulled the covers to my chin, the realization hit me.

The puzzle piece I had been holding so tightly as a precious souvenir of my past; the beautiful priority piece, reminder of who I am and want to be; the piece I feared belonged only in a box long discarded and given away?  That piece fits perfectly in the puzzle now in construction on the table of my life.

Baseball talk and employee chatter

He was tan and blond.  100 pounds of lithe, sinewy athletic 10-year-old. I was his girlfriend.  His sister told me she saw my initials penned on his palm. He certainly knew the delicate balance between teasing and pursuit – and I loved him. But he didn’t know that.  Tardy as I was to return his attentions, someone else ended up with the prize. I met him at old-time summer league baseball.  I was the coach’s daughter.

Today, I am not writing to bemoan the one that got away. What I remember is his poise on the mound – and the encouragements his father hollered from the stands.   He was a pitcher, quick and confident. I heard his dad describe him as high-strung.  Once he cautioned against cockiness.

When our team was in the field, and batter up, his dad called, “Let’s hear some chatter out there.”  Not only does chatter intimidate and confuse the batter, apparently it encourages the pitcher.  Who would have thought it? When I am concentrating and focused, I like quiet. The last thing I want is all my co-workers setting up auditory chaos.   Despite the chatter, the savvy ten-year-old could pitch that ball right across the plate more often than not.   When he gave up a base or a run and was incensed with himself, his dad would call, “Walk it off, baby; walk it off.”  When he was wound tight as a drum with adrenaline and riding a cloud of success, we heard the same admonition, “Walk it off, baby; walk it off.”

Pitcher would pace.  Pitcher would scowl at the thieving runners leading off from base.  Then, Pitcher would wind up and deliver a strike.

It works for me.  It works when coworkers start that infernal chatter of intimidation. It works when family conversations become derailed. It works when I see opportunity coming down the pike and I know without a shadow of doubt I will be called on to rise to the occasion. Serenity and a calm, clear head are essential to success.  I get those things when I take a hike in the great outdoors; one foot in front of the other.

Walk it off, baby, walk it off!  And then, wind up and deliver!

Life is like a pair of eyeglasses

Many years ago – in a past life – I worked as a dispensing optician.  Yes, I was certified to help people see clearly – to improve their vision.  I’d like to think that is what I still do through my writing, my music and my work.

Life is like a pair of eyeglasses.  Sometimes the thing you think will work is exactly the opposite of what is needed.  “My glasses are sliding down my nose.  Tighten them up,” is a common request heard by an optician. There are several adjustment options for loose frames; tighten screws, bend the earpieces, curve the front – or the front corners – to name a few. But in reality, if the glasses are sliding down the nose, the frames may be adjusted too tight.  It is like squeezing a water balloon; the tighter you squeeze, the more the water escapes and bulges on either side of your grip.

Relationships are like that, also.  You can hold on to people you love too tightly – or too loosely – with equal result.  Either extreme and someone dear may slip out of your grasp, be jettisoned away like a Tiddlywink.

Recently, someone endeavored to remind me that relationships take self-sacrifice; giving up of some (or all) things you want to do personally in order to give more to the relationship or family. I agree.  I am no stranger to self-sacrifice.

However; life is like a pair of eyeglasses.  Sometimes the thing you think will work is exactly the opposite of what is needed .

You can never love too much-but you can hold too tight.

You can never love too much – but you can do too much.

You can never love too much – but you can smother another’s initiative when you steal their opportunity to give reciprocally by your insistence on giving all.

The laughter of Autumn

I love the fall.  Autumn is my favorite season.  Besides the break from summer heat; perhaps because of the break from summer heat, it is my most creative time of year.  In the fall, I begin to laugh again.  In the last 48 hours, two huge guffaws have escaped me.

  1. Listening to Colorado Public Radio while the female announcer was setting up a Bach Brandenburg Concerto. She mentioned the recent news that Voyager II is confirmed as having flown to infinity and beyond. You may be too young to know it, but Voyager II carries artifacts from our culture, expressing who we are as humans to unknown recipients of other stars and planets.  Bach’s music is on that space ship.  She then commented, “I wonder if the recording was vinyl or 8-track?”
  2. This morning as I carried out a quick perusal of Facebook, I came upon this little piece of wit:Image

A Friday Fiction Mashup wherein two speakers try on well known roles to make truth into fiction.

“She left me!”  the heart rending and spine-tingling wail echoed from the darkness of the cavern like Rachel weeping for her children.

“She’s gone!” No, make that like Gollum weeping for his Precious.

“She left me, my Precious.”

“There, there.  Calm down,” said the traveler.  Maybe it’s not so bad as all that.  Perhaps your precious is just lost and you need to go and find her.”

“No. No.  She left me!  My precious left me.”

“Why did she leave you?  Did you hit her?”

“No. No.  Hitting is wrong.  I would never hit my precious.”

There was silence in the darkness.  Then the wail began again.

“Make her come back.  Make my precious come back.  She left me.”

Patiently, the voice from the darkness asked again, “Why did she leave you?  Did you take another lover in her place?”

“She left me.  Didn’t you hear me?  She left me.”

The wail melted into heaving sobs like a scoop of ice cream slowly spreading into a puddle. The wail continued in a murmur,

“Happy we were, in our little cave, away from the noise and crush of the crowds.”

“Well then, was she isolated, lonely?” prodded the voice.

“No. No.  Not lonely.  We had each other.”

“In the darkness?”

“No, not always darkness.  She had a lamp. Only darkness now because I spend my days exploring the dark part of the cave. Around the corner and up about 50 paces there is a fissure in the rock where the sunshine streams in. Precious loved that place.  There is a back exit to the cave through a lemon squeezer. Precious used to climb through the lemon squeezer and go hike along the tiny stream.  She said the running water sang to her and showed her wonderful things.”

“So, Precious really loved this place?”

Oh yes, loved this place, did Precious. And I.”

“So, if your precious loved this place so much, why did she leave?”

“I don’t know.  She left me, my precious!”

“I know, I know, your precious left you,” said the voice with quiet annoyance.  “I am trying to figure out why.  If we can figure out why, perhaps we can take some steps to get your precious back.”

“She belongs here.  She should come back.”

There was a pause in the blackness.  After some thought, the traveler asked, “Did your precious ever get away from the cave?  You know, go down to Metropolis for concerts or shopping?”

“Every day!”  he wailed.

“What?  Precious went shopping every day?  This is an unexpected development.”

“No, no.  Precious left me and went to work every day. She didn’t love the cave as much as I did or she would not have been able to leave,” he stated petulantly.

“Precious left you everyday to go to work?”  inquired the voice.

“Yes, yes,”  he wailed, “Precious, stubborn Precious.  She wanted me to go to work everyday too.  She said the only way we could keep living in our wonderful cave was for both of us to work.  That’s not true. This cave belongs to me!

“So, you didn’t want to go to work?”

“No. No.  It is more important to hold tightly to the things you have than to work for something better.”  He paused for emphasis, then continued,

“It wasn’t possible for me to go to work.  I was busy working here in the cave.  There were so many tunnels I hadn’t yet explored. I found some fascinating stones and minerals in the lower tunnel and I needed to catalog them.”

“Are you a mineralogist then?”

“Me?  No. I’m a  horticulturalist….I just know a lot about minerals because, my precious, she came with a degree in mineralogy when I married her.”

“So, she went to the city every day to work as a mineralogist?”

“No, she was just typing orders for a bakery.”

“Do you think it bothered her that you got to stay at the cave doing research in mineralogy while she was away typing bakery orders?”

“Why would she leave the cave every day if it bothered her? What it all comes down to is, you do the thing you are interested in.  I had more heart for the cave than she did. You only do what you want to do.”

There was a moment of silence as the traveler shrugged along with the man.

“Besides, while my precious was doing her little bakery job, I was conducting an experiment and was deep in research.”

“Oh?” said the voice.

“Yes.  I noticed I had to stoop to bring the rocks from the lower tunnel to daylight to look at them.  I was collecting data to find which way of carrying rocks made me stoop least.”

“I see,” nodded the voice. “What did Precious think about your experiment?”

“See?” wailed the man, “I just realized she was never supportive of my work! She was a woman, so she was shorter. How could she know how difficult it was for me to bring up rocks?  She didn’t have to stoop.”

Again, there was silence.

“One other question,” began the voice. “Just out of curiosity, how did that work when your, uh, precious came home from the city each evening; did you have a fresh garden salad on the table for her?”

“What?” asked the man with a good deal of incredulity as though he had never heard the word salad before.

“A salad,” repeated the voice. “You are a stay-at-home horticulturalist.  Did you greet her with a fresh green meal at the end of the day?”

“I didn’t have time,” said the man indignantly.

“I worked hard at my research, right on into the evening. But, she never appreciated that.  Most of the time I wasn’t aware of her arrival.  At first when she came home from the bakery, she used to call down the tunnel, ‘Hi!  I’m home!’ But after a while she quit doing that. Once after she had finally fixed us dinner and we had eaten, she asked me to do the dishes.”

“Really?” inquired the voice.

“I told her it made me feel less of a man to be doing dishes.”

“Did she apologize?”

“Are you kidding?  She didn’t say a thing. The next night when I came up to the kitchen, there was no food on the table.  She should have been home for two hours already. The dishes were clean and neatly stacked in the cupboard.  She was gone.”

The silence was pregnant with profound thought. At least it seemed that way, until the man burst out,

“Maybe she wanted to be a Goblin Princess.”

“A Goblin Princess?  That is highly illogical.  Logic says Precious was more inclined to be Superwoman than a goblin princess.”

“It was those goblins who stole her!”

“What?  She was kidnapped?  Why didn’t you report it?  Set your ship at warp speed and go after her?”

“I did go after her.”

“Did you find her?”

“Not exactly, but I found out about her – more than I wanted to know. I waited a few months to see if she would find her way back on her own. Then, I told my friends and asked them what I should do. I wrote her a letter begging her to come back, but I couldn’t find a stamp. Can you believe it? She didn’t leave me any stamps in the drawer. Finally, somebody offered me a ride back to University Town where I heard she was living.”

“Did you go?”

“I went to University Town, but, I didn’t get to see her.  I ran into an old friend instead. We had been enemies for many years; but, when he saw me back in town, he slapped me on the back and was glad to see me. He said he knew things about what my precious had been before she found me.  He said she used to be a Goblin Princess,” the man fairly spat the words.  Then he added self-righteously, “Once a goblin princess, always a goblin princess, you know.”

“You were satisfied with that story?  You lived with her for over a decade and you think she actually left you to be a goblin princess?”

“I guess so. Why else would she leave me? It makes sense.  She always did have goblin tendencies.  They love rocks, you know. I remember now how she always loved rocks.”

The man sighed heavily. Once again the wail began to build.  The traveler with the questions covered his ears and retreated to the mouth of the cave and the sunlight.  When the echo subsided, he stepped back into the cavern.

“Say,”  he said. “I came through University Town yesterday. I was there for the gem and mineral symposium at the college.  I think I saw your precious. You might like to know that she is not a goblin princess.  She was the guest lecturer on the hidden value of gold and rubies and how to tell the difference between the real thing and the fake.”

Copyright © Cherry Odelberg, 2013

If you enjoyed this story, you might also enjoy Hell or Love and Let me tell you a parable, from Before I Went Crazy

The piano is not firewood yet

“The Piano is not firewood yet,” this phrase, from lyrics and music by Regina Spektor, is my new battle song – my new anthem.

I shout, “The piano is not firewood yet!” and it is the voice of John Paul Jones bellowing, “I have not yet begun to fight.”

StudioDSCN2750I hear the voice of God asking in the wilderness, “What have you got in your hand, Moses?” and Moses replying, “A rod.”
“Throw it on the ground, Moses.”
The voice calls to me,
“What have you got in your hand?”
I reply, “A Piano!”

For me, Regina Spektor’s lyrics are literal. Maybe for others, metaphorical. But here’s the deal, It is summer weather. I have four more months of warmth in this 365 days to live, so the piano is not firewood yet; though it has been dangerously threatened over the years. But, if it is not going to be dismantled to keep us from freezing, might it be taken from me another way?

Metaphorically, is it collateral? Capital? A sacrificial lamb? What possibilities does it present? Is it merely to attract more students? Is it to rehearse my fingers for performance? Is it setting there between me and my empty wood box, to inspire my stories (I can’t seem to keep the protagonists from playing the piano)?
Is it to point me constantly toward a heart of gratitude? Once, I did not even have a piano and this one was provided generously, almost miraculously, through a friend.

Regina reminds me to press on, to do what needs to be done.
“the piano is not firewood yet
but the cold does get cold
so it soon might be that
I’ll take it apart, call up my friends
and we’ll warm up our hands by the fire”

The Universe calls clearly, “What have you got in your hand?”

I answer joyfully, “A piano! My piano is not firewood yet!

What is this throwdown going to look like?

My life in pictures

Practice until you get it right
Practice until you get it right (Philip Shellabarger)

I used to be really bad at taking pictures.  Somehow, I could not get the hang of my 110 Instamatic. First, I had to buy the film. Then, feeling the strain of the expense of a roll of film, I severely rationed the use of 24 exposures.  When the roll of film was spent, it was either left in the camera to season, or removed and tossed in the center drawer of the desk to await a newspaper coupon for discounted developing.   18 months later, coupon  and cash exchanged for prints, it was disheartening to find my memories of the occasion fuzzy – and also my pictures.  What a waste.  My too frugal budget could not stand it. I gave up taking pictures.

For decades, my life was built on getting it right the first time. Experimentation that resulted in waste was not allowed. While excellence is a worthy goal; perfectionism or poverty are cruel and joyless motivators.  Failure to get it right the first time results in giving up because you cannot afford to give yourself a second chance.

Independence Monument in a late summer cloud
Independence Monument in a late summer cloud

I continue to live on a frugal budget.  These days, I have a smart little economical camera that allows me to take pictures with wild abandon; keeping or discarding at will at no extra expense. The freedom to practice away increases the quality of my photos. Even the batteries are rechargeable. News publications that used to be chary with color print and picture space now require a  picture – an eye-catching visual – to publish.  A camera is essential to my writing career.

If you are going to write about life; another essential is experience. Some experiences come via attending events. Events come with a cost; ten dollars, twenty, maybe even forty for a concert or show. Attending events is like taking pictures – you win a few and you lose a few.  Many times you just click the discard button. But you keep going because once in awhile there is a stellar surprise.  It’s a lot like life.

barefootWhat I really want is a digital budget – maybe even a digital life. I want to be a shutter bug, clicking away at memories, pictures, events – not missing out on a single thing.  But, I want to be able to delete the fuzzy, smudged, unfocused and undesirable.  I want to quit demanding my money back for the events that failed to meet my expectations; but I also want the freedom to keep practicing until I get it right.

The story from my tombstone

Must have lived nine lives
Must have lived nine lives

Cat extracted herself from the pavement, like a frugal parent peeling fruit leather from the paper; anxious to get every morsel. “Geeeeeaawd!”  she yowled, “Again?  Five lives I have lived and you still want more?  Why can’t I just lie down here on the asphalt and call it quits?”

“God isn’t finished with you yet!”  barked Pluto from the door of Hades, “Out, out damned spot!  Go get a life.”

“So when do I get the dog’s life?”  mumbled Cat.

“I never even got to have a normal cat’s life.  What happened to basking in the sun, purring languidly, stretching and strolling?  Oh, I have done my share of arching my back and whipping my tail – and my share of mousing.  There was that year of four and twenty deer mice I threatened to bake in a pie. Oh, yes, I used my keen ears for the cause of music and my instinctive sense of direction to get other people where they needed to go.

“There were masters who required me to play the part of Puss in Boots. There were times I  wore the pants for tom. I have been aloof and unreachable, and have played the role of pretty much every molly in the world. I have foraged for my meals like an ally cat; licked and groomed and preened – and, been neat about my business, with or without the luxury of litter.

“Meouch, I even played the demeaning part of a dog; the come when I whistle, sit, jump, follow me like a puppy, role.  What’s feline about that?

“Aaaah,” Cat purred, “there were two distinct and wonderful lives when I nursed my kittens and carried them by the scruff of the neck. I was good at that.  I enjoyed it so much, I even carried around others’ offspring for a few seasons, including a new generation. It takes a village, you know.”

Often, I walk the narrow ridge atop the fence. In truth, I usually land on my feet when I fall.  But, it’s those times when I get hit by a ton of bricks, or a two ton truck of slander and misunderstanding, that slay me.

Five lives I have lived – maybe six-I’ll have to get the count straight while I still have a life left to live to write about it.  It has been an incredible journey.

My headstone:  Always starting over – must have lived nine lives.

What does your headstone say?

Hell or Love ?

_MG_0201There are many times I have been in need of a confessor.  Someone to whom I can spill out my guilt. One who will not be shocked; who will not tell me that if I just leave off sinning and do it the right way everything will right itself. Ah, you will protest, “We no longer need a high priest.  You can go straight to Jesus.”

But that is precisely who I cannot touch.

So, instead, I will step inside the confessional, the inner closet of my heart; draw the curtain and in the quiet I will weep and rage.  Finally, blubbering, I will whisper,

“Father, I am troubled.”

“Speak what is on your mind, my child.”

“What would you do if your boyfriend said to you,

‘You will marry me or I will make your life miserable’?”

“My daughter, nowadays we know to run fast from this type of man.  He is the type of man who will also make your life miserable if you do marry him.”

“Well, what if your family says,

‘Don’t you love your mother?  Don’t you love your grandma?  Your Mom and Grandma are going to be in agony for the rest of their lives unless you marry him’?”

“Child, you cannot be held responsible for the feelings of your mother and grandmother.”

“But, my mind and heart are such a morass of guilt, shame and confusion.”

“Why are you so troubled, daughter.  Have you already given yourself to this man?”

“Yes, yes I did once.  It was a long time ago. They told me he would send me to hell if I did not accept a relationship with him.”

“Gasp, but did they say nothing of love?”

“Yes, they told me I had to love him with my whole heart or be lost.”

“But did they say nothing of his love for you?”

“Oh, yes, they said I was not worthy of that kind of love.”

“But child, God is love.”

“They told me I couldn’t get to God unless I loved the man first.”

“But you believe in God anyway?”

“Yes, but I still struggle with the son.”

“Did they not tell you that the father and the son are one? You have been told that to get to the father you come through the son. Does not it follow that when you come to the father, you are coming to the son?”

“But that’s not what they said!”

“It doesn’t matter what they said, daughter, it matters what you know. Do you know God?”

“Oh yes, as creator, the essence of which everything is made. The spirit by which everything is held together.”

“And how have you found God to be?”

“God is love.”

“Have you ever considered that really love is all you need?”

“I would like to believe that, but sometimes I can’t feel love at all.”

“It’s not something you have to do at all, child.  It is something I do.  My love is big enough. My love is all you need.”

 

The bunny at my house lives free and uncaged

Cottontail on Monument Trail, September 2012
Cottontail on Monument Trail, September 2012

The bunny at my house lives free and uncaged, hippity hopping at will over an acre or more of desert terrain.  He is a common cottontail – born in the wild in one of the warrens underneath the juniper cedars in my front yard. I see him every morning in the half-light before dawn and every evening at dusk as he scavenges in the flat sandy areas of my small adobe house front, or sniffing his way around the carried stones of the meditation maze in back. He nibbles with delight at the occasional tossed apple core, yet never turns up his nose at the winter starved rabbit brush, scanty saltbrush, or shadscale.

Today, in the fresh scouring of snow, he ventured completely up on the flagstone porch, whiffling in the cold powder.  What did he find there? Some unknown nutrient blown in with the snow?

Some evenings, the bunny arrives while I am playing the piano and he pauses, twitches his ears and looks straight at me through the window glass.  I fancy he likes the vibrations stroking his ears. Frequently, the rabbit is a complete distraction to students sitting at my dining room table for tutoring. While a rabbit might lend to research and discussion of mammals, rodents, or the differences between cottontails and jackrabbits; one rabbit does not facilitate a math lesson for nine-year-olds.

There are actually three that I know of. Occasionally, I see two of them sparring over food or territory in the small clearing. One time a third, and smaller, bunny huddled demurely in a clump of ricegrass, intently observing the contenders.

As dusk fell last week, a nine-year-old piano student looked up sharply from the keyboard, “There’s a rabbit!” she exclaimed.

I ponder relationships
I ponder relationships

“Yes, that’s my bunny.”

“Can you hold him and pet him?”

“No but I see him every morning and night and sometimes he stops to listen to me play the piano.”

“Can you put him in a cage and bring him inside?”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“To keep him warm.  It is cold out there.”

“He has a fur coat and long underground tunnels were he keeps warm.  He wants to be out right now.”

When I ponder the bunny in my front yard, some questions cross my mind:

Why would I want to take natural responsibility from the rabbit and smother it with artificial care and provision?

Why do I feel like something or someone belongs to me only if I can control them?

When I cannot control significant people, why do I feel they are no longer mine?

Why is it we want to catch and tame?

Can we not all live free and independent?

In truth, I see this bunny more often than I ever saw bunnies kept in a hutch.  This bunny chooses to hop into my field of vision, forage on my doorstep.  Bunnies in a cage are often forgotten but for chore time.