Father Tim and Cynthia are fond of praying it (the prayer that never fails) in Jan Karon’s Mitford series.
I was taught to pray something like it during my growing up years: “Thy will be done”
Trouble is, in my adult years it began to seem like a cop-out; a way that every prayer is always answered; whether one agrees with the outcome or not. Come boldly to the throne of Grace became, “He’s going to do it His way anyhow, so why even ask?” Then the pendulum swung back the other way, “Name it and claim it! Believe and all things are yours!” After that came a number of difficult years in which I thought things through, decided what needed to happen, and then prayed specifically; pleaded, begged, bargained, and yes; tried to manipulate the behaviors of others through prayer. Finding myself impotent to control the wrong behaviors of significant people through my prayers; I regressed to “He’s going to do it His way anyhow, so why even ask?” I withdrew from the great conversation and left the Sovereign to run the universe His way.
Category Archives: Health and Long Life
The Prayer that Brings PEACE
It is hidden deep in the twelve steps of AA and other addiction groups and it has become, for me, the prayer that brings peace:
Pray only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out (Beattie, 1987, Codependent No More, p. 175, step 11b)
I am not an alcoholic, nor have I been married to one, so it was almost an accident that I found this step; nevertheless; it brings Peace. Peace from controlling, peace from manipulating, peace from striving to do everything in my own strength.
It is at once enlightening and empowering. It is like being gifted with a powerful flashlight and spyglass at the outset of a grand adventure. I, as the seeker of knowledge and truth, scramble around, poking in every nook and cranny for knowledge of His will and investigating the most outrageous places for the power to carry it out. He is after all, Omniscient and Omnipresent so one never knows where truth or power will turn up next.
Life as an adventure
Live life like an adventure. Well, that sounds like fun; but I fear that my attitude more often lines up with the old Holiday Inn commercial which said, “The best surprise is no surprise.”
Both Andrea and Philip have been on spring break this past week and we really wanted to do something special. Florida and the beach maybe? No, that has never been in reach. Train ride to San Francisco? Dream on! A quick look in the bank account ruled out overnight trips altogether-we were lucky to find gas money to get Andrea home. So, on Tuesday we took a drive over the Colorado National Monument near Fruita; stopped to eat our picnic lunch at Artist’s point and then hiked to the Coke Ovens formation. It was a nice easy hike and our energy was a gift of the wonderful sunshine and our recent move to lower elevation. Returning to the fork in the trail, we decided to explore the monument canyon route; lengthy and more challenging. A quick check of Andrea’s IPOD at the floor of the canyon reveled that we needed to hoof it back to the car in order for Philip and me to arrive at work on time. Back UP the zig-zag trail we hurried. Whew! On arriving at the car we were relieved to find an hour to spare and disappointed to find a $7.00 entry fee waiting for us as we exited the national park. We learned two lessons: 1) National Parks charge all year long 2) Its not wise to take on a full scale hike before moonlighting at serving, bussing, and scrubbing floors Cinderella style. Philip and I ended up bone weary and exhausted.
So, Wednesday we did the only sensible thing: We headed for the hot springs and adventure number two.
A Bucket of Joy
Numbers 4 and 5 on the bucket list were: Bring joy to others and; have joy in my life. I think these two goals, or life ambitions, are inseparable. Ifs pretty hard to live a joyless life and have any joy to bring to others. Conversely, if one’s own bucket is full of joy, it is easy to splash dippers of joy all over the surrounding people. Joy is a thing that just spills out, so I don’t think there’s any point in hypothesizing a miserly person who keeps all their joy to themselves. Real Joy spills out.
I do think it is possible for a joyless soul to try hard to conjure up a false joy by dedicating themselves ceaselessly to others. In this case one’s joy, or mood, is dependent on the response or lack thereof in the receiving party. Real joy is not dependent on something as fragile as mood or response; nor is it synonymous with happiness or laughter – though I would like plenty of those in my life also.
OK, I’m off to gather a bucketful of joy so I can splash it liberally on others!
Leave a Legacy
Its number three on the aforementioned Bucket List; but right up there with number one on mine.
My three children are by far the greatest thing that has come out of this challenge and chaos called life.
They are not mine to buy and sell and use and own; but, they are mine to love, and to provide wings for. They are the primary recipients of the LEGACY I long to leave. A legacy that includes:
1) Plenty of music and musical opportunities
2) A classical education
3) Rewarding work ethic
4) The proper tools and gifts to help the tree grow in the way it is bent
5) Freedom to be oneself, who one is meant, by the Creator, to be
6) A well of memories and experiences to grow on
My professional friend has a large matted gold frame on her office wall. The frame proudly displays all the major accomplishments of her life: diplomas, professional licenses – and a portrait of her three children. I could not illustrate it better. Children are a heritage from the Lord. They are my life’s magnum opus. Children’s Children are the crown of old age. I must be old, because I have a three jeweled crown.
Leave a Legacy
Its number three on the aforementioned Bucket List; but right up there with number one on mine.
My three children are by far the greatest thing that has come out of this challenge and chaos called life.
They are not mine to buy and sell and use and own; but, they are mine to love, and to provide wings for. They are the primary recipients of the LEGACY I long to leave. A legacy that includes:
1) Plenty of music and musical opportunities
2) A classical education
3) Rewarding work ethic
4) The proper tools and gifts to help the tree grow in the way it is bent
5) Freedom to be oneself, who one is meant, by the Creator, to be
6) A well of memories and experiences to grow on
My professional friend has a large matted gold frame on her office wall. The frame proudly displays all the major accomplishments of her life: diplomas, professional licenses – and a portrait of her three children. I could not illustrate it better. Children are a heritage from the Lord. They are my life’s magnum opus. Children’s Children are the crown of old age. I must be old, because I have a three jeweled crown.
Reflect (#1 on the Bucket List)
“Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants…….The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word. But the worries of this life…choke it, making it unfruitful. Matthew 13:7 and 22.”
Over the past several years, I have repeatedly heard speakers lamenting and pointing out the fact that houses are no longer designed with front porches on which to sit and talk with family and neighbors at the end of the day. Companionable reflection rarely happens in our activity laden or television choked lives.
When we moved to the cabin, the porch, or deck, was rather rickety and precarious. Doug reinforced and replaced the pile and beam supports. I bought two patio benches for our anniversary the first year. For a few years we made a nightly habit of sitting and reflecting on the trials and successes of each day. It was a good habit. Reflection is healthy; for the individual and for relationships. By and by the worries and cares of life choked out this reflection time. Once again the struggle to survive became all consuming.
Now I am once again in a place, a time, of reflection as I work on my book and “feel my pain.”
In a previous post, I quoted Christian Counselor, Maryellen Stipe as saying (in part)
“When you fill your life and brain with obsessing … fixing …you mood alter on that (worrying, catastrophising, planning to control the chaos, etc) and you do not feel your own pain, or take care of the issues in your own life. You are so busy living someone else’s life that you don’t live your own life or dreams or purpose”
Reflection. Reflecting on the pain and the joys in life. Getting emotionally, mentally, spiritually healthy. Definitely on my list of 10 things I want to do before I die. How about this year?
The Bucket List
Definitely, it goes on my list of movies I want to see. It is also reminiscent of my thinking and Blog writing of last year at this same time, Ten Things I Want to Do Before I Die.
On Sunday morning I heard a “Bucket List” message at church, complete with trailers from said movie. The speakers said that a survey was taken of folks in their 90s. Following are the top 5 items on the bucket lists of those elders:
1) Reflect more
2) Live life like it is an adventure
3) Leave a Legacy
4) Give other people Joy
5) Have Joy in my own life
Not bad. I kinda like that list; in fact, I think I will reflect on it in the coming days and see how well it fits my current list of Ten Things I Want to Do Before I Die.
Here’s to an Addiction Free New Year!
Information you need to know from Christian Counselor and Life Coach, Maryellen Stipe:
Caretaking can be an addiction, an addiction to other people’s problems. When you fill your life and brain with obsessing on other people’s issues and fixing them you mood alter on that (worrying, catastrophising, planning to control the chaos, etc) and you do not feel your own pain, or take care of the issues in your own life. You are so busy living someone else’s life that you don’t live your own life or dreams or purpose. This is why co-dependents are called “co” dependents—they are also dependent or hooked on the addiction of their significant person. Taking on the role of savior in another person’s life is intoxicating because the co-dependent feels so powerful and comforts himself or herself with what a good person (s)he is to look after this loser in her life. Caretaking is one of the legal addictions of Christians. It can seem noble but it also steals one’s life away. Instead of taking her (or his) cues from the Lord about how to live her life, the co-dependent takes her cues from the problem person. The co-dependent’s life orbits around the problem person rather than around the Lord. God’s Lordship in his / her life is diminished. The co-dependent is not free to obey God’s bidding. He / She lives life focused on the problem (s) of the significant other. This kind of activity is modeled in many Christian homes and passed on to generations
We Wish You a Merry Christmas!
All of us here on the Feisty Mountain wish you a very merry Christmas! We have a good deal more snow and cold than the day in October that Philip snapped this picture of Andrea.