As he sees it, the very fact that she left him incriminates her as unfaithful. A faithful wife is someone who stays. It’s been ten years now and he is still smoldering. How could she do that to him? Just move out? Now he has a hard time making the house payment. She signed on the line too. She should be here helping him pay for it. But no, he is the victim of an unfaithful wife. But what can you expect from an addict?
He knew when he married her that she was insecure, her previous husband had been a run around. Previous husband, yes, she had one. How could he have been so blind? He should have listened to his friends and not married used merchandise. As it was, he tried to help her. She was so needy, always craving a compliment; trying to win an “I love you.” That’s just not right. He told her at the very beginning that she needed to learn to stand on her own two feet. But she was addicted to affirmation.
He knew how to deal with alcoholics – don’t give them one drop. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. So he attempted to help her. For 19 years he made sure not to tease her with compliments or affirmation or respond when she was needy and seducing him to love. While he knew philosophically there was nothing wrong with love, he was sure there was something shameful about desire and passion so he kept it professional. It bothered him that she was so full of desire, so lewd. And also, it was not right for her to need physical intimacy to feel self-esteem. It’s called SELF- esteem after all, so it comes from within. It shouldn’t have to come from others.
Now that she was gone, he was finally free to take his leisure, to do what he wanted, when he wanted. She was always busy, working hard, taking care of people, getting things done on a schedule. Not that he couldn’t work hard. He could lift and carry twice as much, maybe three times as much as she could. Actually, she was pretty weak. He was a John Henry of a man, capable of moving mountains when motivated. If she had just learned to let him be, do things in his own time. But she was such a schedule keeper such a rule keeper. Except for her wedding vows. Whatever happened to for better, for worse; for rich or for poor; as long as we both shall live? Well, they were both still living – just not together. Good riddance. He was now free to do or not do whatever he wanted- unencumbered.